As I sit here and reflect on the year it has been - you can only imagine what my mind is going thru at this time. So before I proceeded to write things down, I boiled some water and made myself tea. Now finding myself sitting at the same spot looking back on the year it has been for the second time around - I suddenly felt instead of writing what I have done and what I would wish to accomplish in 2018, I am finding myself being so competitive!
Being competitive is always something that was celebrated in my childhood and really was rewarded when you reach the top. I have learned there is no point on being second when you know you can be number one! This mindset earlier on made me compete in a lot of things and today - right here - right now, just the thought of competing in anything either sports or conversations or a debate is exhausting.
Why does it always have to be a competition? Gathering images and thoughts of where I was and what I have done in 2017 made me realize the tone I set up for myself was to perhaps not be the best version of myself but to push myself to be better than yesterday! I was always seeking the top. Being competitive with myself - leading me to think each action is never good enough for it can always be better - I can always be better. Months of meditation and practicing yoga - it has taught me that I am not only better at things I AM GREAT! Each time an action is done knowing fully well I have exerted everything in my being - soul, love and action - this was good enough aka great!
Is there room for improvement, of course there is - as long as we know what we are improving on - I know my delivery needs to be improved but then again my hidden accent and choose of words others find funny - I just know though Vergara has been in hollywood for over 20 years, she still speaks like she's fresh off the boat with her thick Columbian accent. Really though, I could never imagine her uttering words differently.
So to speak - 2018 will yet be another year of discovery - and how I was last year? I know now I must bring awareness to the journey as it is as important as the destination. In fact it may make the destination that much more worth while.